...only through the power and sufficiency of Your grace.

Romans 1:1 - “Paul, a bond-servant of Christ Jesus, called as an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God”

I love the way that Paul introduces himself. He acknowledges that his whole identity is in Christ.

"a bond-servant of Christ Jesus and called as an apostle set apart for the gospel of God"

He acknowledges that he was called, or chosen, to be an apostle. We also know this because of the account of Paul on the road to Damascus.

But what is interesting to me is the term bond-servant. This term is not translated correctly. We, humans, as a race have become squeamish. We don’t like taboo words. Anything that could be inappropriate or possibly insensitive is removed. That is what has happened here.

The Greek word that is used here is doulos. The definition of doulos is someone who belongs to another; a bond-slave, without any ownership rights of their own.

“Without any ownership rights of their own”

Paul is saying here that he belongs to Christ. That Christ owns him. All of who Paul is belongs to someone other than himself.

We, as Christians, just like Paul, are part of the elect, chosen by God to be His children. But the important thing here is that there is nothing we are or have that belongs to us. Our heart, our mind, our entire being belongs to God.

By grace we have been saved and through that incredible grace, God has provided everything we need for eternal life and godliness. We have been sanctified and justified through the death of Jesus Christ. His death purchased us. He paid a price we can never afford and therefore we belong to Him.

Nothing we have done or will do can take away or withhold what God plans to give to you. That is the power of His abounding grace.

Knowing this, why would we use our bodies, Christ’s property, to dishonor and disobey God by choosing to sin?

Yes, we are still human and therefore we will never be without sin while we are in this world, but… BUT!

In response to the most incredible, priceless, amazing gift of grace, why would you not want to respond with love to the One that gave it to you?

...because You are worthy of my praise.

Humans. What strange creatures. We were created by God, we reject God, He then draws us out of our sin and into His grace, He gives us a promise of eternal life in Heaven with Him, and still we choose to seek instant gratification in this life.

It isn't even sin, necessarily, but objects and possessions. The next iPhone, the next movie, the next TV episode, and the next this or the next that...Well I guess that does make it sin, doesn't it? Things that take away from God and what He has given and what He promises to give.

How many gods do you serve? One? You sure? I have found that I end up serving myself more than anything. I become my own god. What about you? Have you spent more time giving yourself what you think you need than giving God what He commands? I'll be the first to say that I do that.

We live in a time and culture that lives off of indulgence. Just about anything can be gained in an instant. It just depends upon the cost. Is it $50? $150? $500? Maybe a treasured possession? Or maybe the cost is your soul?

There is only one instant gratification that can truly satisfy. That is God's forgiveness of your sins. Being truly contrite and repentant of those sins, God will be faithful to forgive them.

But what about the cost? There are those who would tell you that there is no cost.

That is a LIE.

The cost is your soul.

The cost is slavery. The cost is that your body and soul are now owned by another, for you were bought for a price. A very high price.

There was a man who saw your life. He saw that you are owned by that which you cannot escape. This man then decided to allow others to murder him so that you would be able to escape. This man, this Jesus, this perfect Son of God, purchased you by giving up His life.

He did this because we, humans, are sinners. We have broken God's law. God is just and holy. He cannot allow us to live. This rebelliousness has to be punished, but God does not want anyone to perish. Therefore He offered His son, Jesus, as a substitution for that punishment and Jesus went willingly.

The Bible promises that anyone who confesses that Jesus is Lord (ruler and authority over your life), and truly believes that God raised Him from the dead, that person will be saved.

However, you must know the cost. The cost is serving a God who promises glory and holiness for you in Heaven, while living in a world that hates God. This will not be easy and this will not always be painless, but it will be glorifying to God and sanctifying for you.

The Bible teaches that God causes all things (the good, the bad, and the horrible) to work together for good to those that love Him. That doesn't mean you will have the best life on earth. It means that God is working to complete and perfect you for your life with Him in Eternity.

Serving God may be difficult, but greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world.

...for Your glory and honor and praise.

For those of you that remember, there was the movie Unstoppable by Kirk Cameron. He attempted to address the question: “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

There is a bit of vagueness to this question. The Bible teaches that there are no good people because the heart of man is entirely wicked. (If you do not believe the Bible to be the ultimate authority on Earth, then you will not believe that sentence. If you would like to ask any questions, I am completely open to them. Fire away.)

For argument’s sake, say that Kirk Cameron was trying to be politically correct by saying “good people” instead of “Christians”. After all, if you saw the movie, you could tell this was a movie aimed at Christians.

There is a verse with which you could answer this question:

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Okay, cool. What does that mean? Let’s take a look at the first half of this verse.

God causes all things – The God of the Universe; the infinite, holy, ever present God is in control of everything; every minute detail. Does this mean He does bad things to people? Most certainly not, but he does allow it (I’ll address that later).

To work together for good – So God is in control of everything. He allows bad things to happen. Why does He do this? He does them ultimately for good. God is in the business of doing things for a big picture (Stay with me. I know it can be confusing).

For good to those who love God – Here we see a caveat. All things, good or bad, are for the good of those that love God. Wait, so I have to love God? But that’s weird. How can you have feelings for God? It isn't about feelings. Love is not an emotion. Affection, adoration, attraction are emotions that culturally have been added to the definition of Love. If I say I love my mom, dad, brother, sister, girlfriend, grandparents, what does that mean if I don’t do anything to honor them? I could honor them by doing something they ask like chores or picking up something from the store for them. Sometimes, even surprising them with something they enjoy like a movie or favorite desert or the music they really wanted. Love is an action.

Christians are called to love God. We love Him by obeying His word, the bible. If we love God, then He causes everything to work for good to us. But the good the bible talks about, is not going to happen while you are alive on Earth. Yes we receive blessings and good things from God but it is not God’s goal to make us happy here.

His goal is our sanctification.

“After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.”  1 Peter 5:10

God causes good things and allows bad things to happen in our life to cause our sanctification. Something we cannot do without God. God is working on our sanctification and our glorification.

Paul Tripp said this: “God will take you where you did want to go to produce in you something you could not achieve on your own.”

This is the whole point of it all. This is the end game of God for us. To be sanctified and become glorified but this cannot happen in a fallen world.

This will happen on the day of your death or the day of Christ’s return.

...because You, who is rich in mercy, made me alive with Christ.

If there is one thing just about everyone has heard of, it is David and Goliath. It is just a great story of how a young boy took down this mighty giant that had frightened an entire army.

Time and time again this reference is used as a metaphor for people who are going through struggle, but I'm afraid that we have forgotten to look at something. What happens when the obstacle we face defeats us?

You see, because we are human and therefore imperfect, we cannot always defeat the "giant" that we may be facing in our lives. So I have a different metaphor I would like to pass on to you:

What if, in the story of David and Goliath, we are the Israelites instead of David? As humans we are in need of a champion, a Savoir. We are looking at this giant, cowering behind each other, terrified that we might be the one chosen to go up against it. God is not calling us to fight. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14). Christ is our champion. We always hear or say things about how life is difficult or how we are stressed, anxious, worried. Is that because we are trying to fight the giant ourselves?

We have got to stop trying to make it through the world without Christ. We wont succeed.

"You were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the wars of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom or the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient." - (Ephesians 2:2)

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved." - (Ephesians 2:4)

Christ has already begun a work in all of us. All of our sins were nailed on the cross with him. He carried the burden of sin from all of humanity and died so that "in Him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence." (Ephesians 3:12).

He died so that we could have a relationship with God. The only catch is, we have to accept the gift that was so freely given.

"Love came down and rescued me

Love came down and set me free

I am Yours

I am forever Yours."

- Love Came Down by Bethel

...even through my weaknesses.

There was once a man. This man wanted to build a castle to keep him safe from the harshness of the wilderness around him. The man called on a master builder and friend, with whom the man was very close, and asked him to build a castle. The castle turned out not to be extravagant and lush, but it was very strong. Because the man and his friend were very close, the man invited his friend to come and visit frequently. Every time the friend visited, he would always check on the integrity of the walls he had built and fix any problems. This upkeep maintained the strength of the walls and the weather could not touch the man. 

After a few years, the man became comfortable and took the walls, which had been protecting him, for granted. He would boast about the walls and of their strength. Many people would come by to see it for themselves and some even asked for shelter on some nights. Because the man had so many people in and out of his castle, he didn't have time to invite his close friend to visit anymore. The walls, slowly but surely, were losing their strength.

One night, the man, being welcoming and friendly, gladly offered a couple spare rooms to some travelers. When all had turned in for the night, the guests got up and started wandering around the castle. These guests were not what they seemed. They were sent by other men who were envious of the strength of the walls and if they couldn't have the strongest walls, then no one could. So the guests, as instructed, chipped away at the walls in several places. Because they didn't want to be caught, they chipped away at hidden places that no one would look. When the job was done, the guests ran away into the night so they would not be there when the man woke up.

Later in the night, a horrible storm came. It wind howled, the rain pounded, and the thunder shook until bricks started to fall off of the walls. They man awoke to the great noise and saw what was happening to his castle. He tried the best he could but it was all in vain because nothing the man built was strong enough to hold up against the nature he had avoided for so long. Finally remembering the once close friend that had built the castle, the man sent for him. When the friend arrived he saw the castle as he approached and knew just what needed to happen. The man greeted his friend at the door with sadness because he knew that by ignoring his friend and inviting people to see the walls that he was so proud of, he let the walls crumble. 

His friend, with a smile, placed a hand on the man's sunken shoulders and said, "It's okay. I am here now. Everything will be okay."

When people become Christians and begin their relationships with Christ, He begins to build walls around them to keep them safe from the storms of temptation and sin. How easy it is to then become proud and forget the One who is truly us safe. We invite sin into our lives and as it chips and carves at the walls that are built, those walls begin to crumble and we can no longer feel their protection.

Here is the good news, though: If you ever call upon the name of the Lord, He will show up smiling and say to  you, "It's okay. I am here now. Everything will be okay."

Dear Heavenly Father,

It is so easy to be caught up in this

world as it continues to spin around and around.

We lose sight of what is really important.

We ask that we are continually

reminded of your presence and

that we never lose sight of our relationship

with you.

We pray these things 

in the name of your son, Jesus Christ.

Amen

...if only for a moment.

Once again, I find myself in need of an outlet. I needed to be able to organize my thoughts. This is perhaps the best way to do so considering it is somewhere close to 1:00am.

I was struck by a very interesting thought. What made it interesting was that it created a conflict or struggle within myself. I had the opportunity to watch someone perform. The person performed well and received quite the uproar of enthusiasm from the audience. The thought that spurred this conflict was, "If I know I am better than that person up there, why do they get this kind of recognition."

Now for those of you that know me personally, you realize how self centered, arrogant, and egotistical that sounded coming from me. I had the same thought and the answer that swiftly encompassed my mind was, "It is for that very thought, that you do not receive this kind of acknowledgement." I am here to tell you, that was painful. It was a knife in my heart because I knew immediately that I should not have responded that way to this person's performance. I took a person's moment of success and twisted it in my own mind to be about me.

The other side of this was, I am a good singer. I can say at least that much of myself without feeling that I am stepping out of place. I say I am so, not because of what I think of myself, but what others have said and the parts in different types of performances I have been given. In that case, am I overstepping in hoping that I get some recognition for the skills I have honed and worked for?

One of the biggest fears in my life is that I go through my life unnoticed. That I live out day after day and when it comes to an end, that moment when I lay my head on my pillow, what I did was forgettable.

I was struck with an idea to end this with a verse, but by what I stumbled on, I know I didn't come up with the idea on my own.

Here comes the irony and probably the most important part of this...

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
-Matthew 5:14-16

"He must become greater; I must become less."
-John 3:30

The conflict mentioned above wasn't one I could solve because it was two parts of me, fighting over me. The irony of the situation is that this life is NOT about me. Everything I have would not be possible if it was just about me. I am so very flawed. The evidence to that fact is right here on this page. God has shown me a good thing tonight.

Before I end this: I didn't know that this blog was going to end this way. It began with a struggle within myself and it ended up becoming something good and useful not only to me, but I think this would be useful to others as well. I am not the only one with similar thoughts, I am sure.

If you took the time to read this, thank you. This is real stuff and it shows a vulnerable side of me that I tend to hide from view. I hope that this has brought you something to think about and maybe it offered some help.

May God's grace be with you, all the days of your life.

First Blog

I was encouraged to start a blog, by a friend, because they told me that it is a great outlet and a good way to separate the hard things in life from the blessings and wonderful experiences, if done correctly. I reluctantly agreed. As I started to make my profile, thoughts began to unfold.

I named this blog "If I May Repay the Kindness You Once Showed Me" for a number of reasons. I first took the quote because it is from my all time favorite movie, A Knight's Tale, and there is some significant meaning behind what happens in the movie at this point. Although, once I separated it from the context of the movie, the words began to speak to me in a different way: Direct that sentence towards God. That immediately humbled me. How have I repaid the kindness God showed me on the cross and the kindness he shows me every day? I can answer that simply: I haven't. My goal now is to use this as a tool for encouragement for me, as was my goal in the beginning, but now I would use this to share the wonderful things that happen in my life, start giving glory to God and thanking Him for what he has done.

It is the least I could do.